Tuloni Biya

Marriages are a very celebrated event in life all over the world, but marriages in India are way more than just a marriage and a celebration. It’s a festival (though there are some changes in the situation now). So, Tuloni Biya literally translates to “Small Marriage”; it’s a way to celebrate a girl’s first menstruation, marking the journey from girlhood to womanhood in Assamese culture.

The idea to write about it came when I was in Assam for my exposure visit with a local family, and that is when I came to know about this. In India, where a lot of work and movement, educational drives and movies are being made to make people aware of periods and end the taboos surrounding it, isn’t it amazing to find, learn, and talk about this kind of celebration?

As I am supposed to write 14 blogs in this journey of fellowship, collecting relevant topics for the write-up is a matter of careful calculation, and when I heard about Tuloni Biya, I was sure it would be the heading of my blog.

Now coming back to the topic. There are lots of steps and rituals to follow, and obviously, getting the first period is a precondition for it. Then the girl is kept in a separate room for 7 days, no man allowed to go there, where they live a satvik life, and they even have their own separate cooking place where they cook by themselves, that too only boiled food, fruits and potatoes, and  (sometimes someone from the family also cooks it), sleep on the floor, not allowed to go out or touch anyone (as they are considered impure during this time).  

Then, after 4 days, a ceremonial Haldi Snan (Turmeric Bath) takes place in front of a Banana tree (Assumed Husband of the Girl). And she is dressed in a Chadar Mekhela (traditional dress of Assam). But it doesn’t end here. 

Then on the 7th day, the real marriage ceremony takes place, where all the relatives are called for this day, the girl is dressed up as a bride, women sing Biyanam Geet, on this occasion, all the elders gather to bless her with gifts. The girl is officially married to the Banana tree. 

In this constantly globalizing world, where people are moving to cities, joint families are becoming nuclear families, and the style and importance are both changing as per the convenience of the people. 

There are lots of things that often get undiscussed in this wave of celebration. Though the whole process looks like a party kind of thing, but imagine a 12 year old living alone for 7 days with the pain of cramps, not getting the proper basic diet. She is doing everything by herself when she needs to rest and be pampered the most. When I was collecting the content for this blog, I talked to a few Assamese girls about it, on the day of Holi, that too in the moring and how she was crying as by then she was stopped from eating all the Holi festival foods and shifted to a separate room. 

The other aspect is the financial, which often becomes a symbol of status and class, which builds a lot of pressure on the parents to invest more than their neighbors do on such occasions.  

Though it marks the celebration of menstruation, it still has a taboo of being impure very much ingrained in it.