Its disheartening, almost shattering to not be able to make it to things, especially those that we have worked the hardest for. Failure in 2 UPSC prelims attempts broke me and made me doubt my efforts. I was confident, I worked hard, completed the syllabus, revised, solve more than 3000 PYQs, gave more than 50 mocks and I was very sure to clear my second attempt of civil services 2024, but sadly, I missed it by few marks. I almost expected that this was my chance, and I was going to make it. But the results broke me into tears, I lost hope, and ended up crying about things that had not worked out as expected.
When I regained my composure after a couple of days, I realised that a majority of my suffering was because I had expected to clear the prelims in my second attempt. But how can we put our best efforts and not expect the results? Well, that’s beyond human nature.
In the Mahabharat, Lord Krishna, while directing Arjuna, once mentioned, “karm kar, phal ki chinta mat kar” or “you have the to perform right actions and not be bothered by its outcomes.” Well, then if everything depends on the action, and we have put our best actions and still not get the best results and suffer for that, should we stop putting efforts or should be stop expecting the returns? The former would be called inaction, while the latter comes with magic, you’ve never known, never expected. Here I’ll be writing about few things that I’ve experienced unexpectedly in this fellowship and the underlying feeling.
Very recently, after the remarkable outcomes of the project, I was getting forwarded messages and links from the founder of the organization to apply for various events, incubation programmes, pitching competition, awards in sustainabililty and social entrepreneurship. And I began applying to various events for learning, for competitions etc. Firstly I had signed up for was pitching competition at Yes Summit, by Youth Aid Foundation, supporting rural women startups through incubation and networking and collaboration.
Another incubation programme I had signed up for was Unpollute’s Sustainability Conclave by STEP CGLS Foundation. It was a 5 day virtual incubation program brought by industry experts in climate and sustainability supporting women led and community impact startups. As a part of the programme, STEP had organised a 3 day sustainability conclave in New Delhi and a pitching competition and impact awards, that brought diverse stakeholders including women entrepreneurs, students, government officials, industry leaders, and investors to advance the green economy. I have also registered and signed up for DeAsra’s Entrepreneurship Excellence Award that has AI based 3 stages of selections required to answer deep questions about our work. I have also registered for UNDP’s and Microsoft’s Climate Catalysts Programme – 2 month online fellowship programme to engage with entrepreneurs and various other stakeholders, across Asia-Pacific region. The timelines of these awards were as mentioned between february and march.
Guess what, I made through 2 events very unexpectedly, where I had had least hopes as they were relatively bigger platforms with more and experienced competition. Little did I know, that I would be getting rejected in two of the events, for which I have put little more efforts and had little more hopes for making through them.
My first pitching competition was in the first week of February at Yes Summit in Hyderabad, I prepared the presentation well, I have also practiced my presentation, prepared for question answers round as well and has a sense of confidence that I would make it through the competition. It had an award of Rs 25,000 and people in organisation were also very sure that it would be a successful one. On the day of the event, though I was nervous while delivering the pitch, in couple of seconds I was better with my heartbeat, I got the flow, completed the pitch in time and answered to their various questions confidently. One day after, I was eagerly waiting for my name to be announced as a winner, but surprisingly, my name was not there. I was sad for the a day understanding what went wrong but I overcame it as I was to travel to Chattisgarh for my exposure visit.
Cut to second week of February when I was to attend 3 day Unpollute’s Sustainability Conclave in Delhi. Believe me, while registering for the incubation program, I was very unsure if I should go about it or not, as the project I was working on was more closer to food systems which is the distanced theme, as it primarily deals with climate change, air, water and soil as major components. But some how I registered, actively attended four sessions but missed on very important session of pitching and story telling as I was in Hyderabad at Yes Summit pitching competition.
While giving my name for pitching, I was in huge doubt, held up with the fear of incompetency and I remember having 3 calls with the STEP team for my participation in the pitching competition as it was for founders, and I had been a fellow, than with regards to bringing an aspect of sustainability and climate change, and a 20 minute long discussion on should I be pitch or excuse it. In the end, I decided to go for it, which an attitude of “let see what happens”.
For the presentation, I was required to prepare a pitch deck which would be reviewed by the team, I prepared a draft, got it reviewed by the team but couldn’t submit the final pitchdeck it before deadline. I remember sitting at Raipur Airport, one day before the event I was finishing up with the pitch deck. I had not had the time to practice my pitch before the event. I was writing my pitch in the event itself. My name announced, I reached the podium, took the mic and began pitching with a running heart that I couldn’t control before I finished speaking. The best part comes after pitching, the Q&A round and I can proudly say that I performed best in Q&A, answered every question with clarity and confidence as I somehow I owned the project and I was able to convince the assessors about the work. It went well, I was told by one of the evaluator, that “why are you shying, you performed really well”. I thanked him and exited. Though I was told by many that I’d performed really well, I was not so confident that I can make through this. And on the day of results, Smt. Smriti Irani, Ex Women and Child Development Minister was to come to felicitate the winners with awards. She arrived with hustle and bustle in the environment and in couple of minutes, the award ceremony began and one by one, different categories of awardees rally up to the stage to receive the award and get honored by her. And in the category of pitch competition, I name was called up as the first runner up award in the pitch competition and it was beyond shock that I felt for the moment, I froze and asked my peers about it being me. “Yes”, said another competitor and a kind lady sitting beside me pushed me to get up and I too rally to the stage, happily received the award and thanked everyone who has supported throughout. But deep within me, I was still confused about how did I made through this and asked the team, if they can let me know on what parameters that I have been assessed.
On a similar note, I have applied for DeAsra’s Entrepreneurship Excellence Award that required me 3 days of intensive application procedure. I have cleared two rounds of application and I was silently confident that the project would be nominated for the award after the interview process. In the interview stage, which only went for 7 minutes where I was asked about the problem and the solution. I explained in detail and I was asked if I had a co-founder, I have explained them the concept of Farmer Producer Company and my role and the interview ended. I expected to clear this, but again to my surprise I couldn’t clear this. This actually made me think about why it wasn’t selected and it saddened me for longer enough and also hampered my productivity. In the same time I have applied reluctantly applied for UNDP’s Climate Catalyst Programme and this was just for the sake of application with zero expectation of making through this and on a very fine morning, I received a mail that I have been selected for the virtual for two months of fellowship at UNDP and Microsoft, that cheered me up and I confirmed by participation.
You see life is full of surprises. Cosmos have its own way to delivering you the what fits best for you, it has its own plans through which it want you to pass. But many a times, we crib for what we couldn’t do. The sad part of not making through something where I’d put my best efforts weighed more than the happy part of achieving the things unexpectedly. But whatever, I always chose to be grateful for the cosmos for everything that reaches my plate and thereby I am resilient to the rejections and welcoming to the unexpected happiness.
Lets find you in the comments and know your “expect the unexpected story”.
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