Home Sweet Home

  Who will break my locked home 

           And take me away?

Sitting at the balcony, looking at the moon and listening to this song. Seems aesthetic right! But the feeling is not. Never imagined the song that used to talk to my heart will silence my soul. It took my mind back to four months before. 

Trapped, in my room frustrated with the weather and boredom, accompanied with exam stress. To deal with it, I took the modern solution- scroll through your mobile mindlessly. While scrolling a bright orange and green colour was asking for my attention. I clicked. And voila! Not pandoras box but a box challenging me to come out of my comfort zone. And with bold letters it told me you are self sufficient to do anything. A friend who lives rent free in my head (low self esteem), said “are you?” Surprisingly my another friend  who usually sleeps at every important moment, suddenly woke up that day and whispered “If you aren’t, you can be.” Another said annoyingly “Girl just do it. You are not losing anything”. Another said too excitedly “This is your key to break the lock of your caged dream. A chance to live your dream of seeing the world.”

Maybe I listened to some of those positive voices. I don’t know what kind of awakening happened that day my friends of silence, who always stay behind, came forward to push me. See, in my 24 years of life I made a lot of friends. But that’s a different story I will share with you all, someday. Coming back to the present, I quietly applied. That silence became chaos the moment an email popped up in my inbox. “congratulation on your acceptance to the SWAR fellowship program.”

And slowly yet quickly, D-day had arrived. Suddenly, a quick flood of realisation washed over me. So excited I was, to venture to a new place that my mind forgot my heart’s longing, my comfort nest, my home sweet home. From booking tickets to landing in Maharashtra. From Kolkata to Pune. From home to YASHDA to Ambejogai. With family to being alone.

Everything passed like a flash, like the trees from the window of Azad Hind Express. Me and my 24 years self stepped into the unknown. My hyperactive friends started their work. How will you manage? How will you make friends? Will you be able to adjust to the differences? 

The differences shower onto me from different directions. The language difference that was expected. The culture differences were something to learn. The difference that put a nostalgic taste on my tongue was the food preferences. The aroma of curry leaves and mustard seeds transported me back to my comfort dish macher jhol. Panipuri with pudina chutney gives a tough competition with tamarind water. The taste of vada pav made me yearn for ghugni, a popular street food from Bengal. And in between the famous roti, bhakri, and chapati, I’m a rice eater. Among pure veg and pure non-veg, I felt like that frog who crossed the well to venture into the ocean.

Then came a Sunday. Perhaps my dark circles were glowing like a beacon, signaling to others the depth of my homesickness. My project manager Mr. Datta invited me to his house for lunch. With a broad smile I accepted his invitation. His sweet wife and cute babies welcomed me so warmly. As I saw my lunch plate I was overwhelmed with happiness. A plate full of Bengali dishes. A full bowl of fish with prawn on the side. And the chicken curry complimenting them with the famous chapati. What a fusion of culture. My stomach and heart fused with pleasure too. With a hearty smile I said my goodbye and rode towards Balaghat Dongarrang. Through the line of trees a hidden waterfall. Now my eyes were pleased too. They deserved it after those sleepless nights.

Back to my room sitting on the balcony, a gentle wind and beautiful moon, and my comfort song. Eyes closed, preparing for deep slumber, pleased heart beating in rhythm to fall into place, pleased mind lullabuying why  always guests are welcomed? Sometimes guests need to welcome the home. And a pleased soul whispered home is where the feeling is.