Stonewall

Struggles and dilemmas are just hardships that a person has to face across the journey of one’s life. But that becomes even more difficult when you’re trying to find a source of income for yourself and your family. Ideally, you should be assured of having some job offer on the table through campus placements when you’re about to be done with college, but that isn’t always the case. Getting a degree such as a Master’s in public health, and that too from a revered institution, would in itself feel something as sweet and fulfilling as having a decadently rich chocolate cake all by yourself, but that taste gradually starts turning into bittersweet when you see your other hand being empty…. the hand expecting to receive an appointment letter.

This feeling that I’m talking about was pretty much the tone for the summer of 2023. Right from the day of convocation in May up until the 5th of August (I received my selection as a fellow on the 4th in my inbox, but checked my e-mail a day later). I read that mail somewhere past midnight, and I couldn’t sleep until it was sunrise. It was obviously a mixture of a bunch of emotions but more importantly just the relief did I have been able to pass a hurdle. This metaphorical “stonewall” that I have somewhere built up in my head. This stonewall ironically represented a void that I was currently facing in life.

To be able to work on something that was a part of my academics and also that I have done something in the past makes the victory just a little bit more special. And what more of a coincidence do you want in your life, that the induction training of your fellowship was about to be held in one of the branches of institutions where you have just completed your studies. The experience of TISS Tuljapur in early October was nothing short of holistic, varied and fulfilling. Something as a learner that you always want to feel, but unfortunately such instances in life are very few and far between. The calmness, way of living, culture and experiences in a rural setup are very different for someone like me, who has spent his entire life in a metropolitan city.

Also, the bond that you build with your co-fellows as a cohort is a testament to how things might pan out over time. With every activity, exercise, visit or even just a chatting circle amongst yourselves start to develop the foundation of a social bond that slowly starts to transform into nuances which make you who you are as a social being.This holds immense importance beyond the usual clockwork routine; it fosters a sense of unity, camaraderie, and togetherness among you as a whole. This process being engaging, encourages me to push past personal limits together, creating bonds that extend beyond a four-walled room or an extensive patch of field where a farmer is standing in the scorched heat.

Through such collaborative efforts, I found myself to communicate effectively and trust one another’s abilities, fostering a harmonious synergy essential as a tool for myself being on the field. Moreover, the reflective aspect of it is in the ability to instil a profound sense of introspection and self-awareness, of the challenges and triumphs that lie ahead. Each day becomes a chance to give me collective strength, resilience, and determination, ultimately contributing to a shared journey of growth and fulfilment.

From a simplistic view, it is just a path of exploration. To explore what you need in life and also what all life has to offer you. You are bound to expect another “stonewall” somewhere down in the street called life. But it is your reaction and composure in this moment, that will redefine a whole new outlook of this exploration.